Friday, January 15, 2016

Grief from brokenness


Our Story

I am going to keep some details out because this is a deeply personal story.  But, as your mama, I need to tell you some things that I am learning in this journey.  I need to write it now so that I don't forget.  I need to share this with others because the truths that God is teaching me can encourage others in the same or similar situations.  The older I get the more I realize that I do not understand.  In that state of grasping for truth and understanding, I have to simply trust.  Searching for understanding is a good thing, but trust is needed every step of the way.  And, in searching for understanding, I have to realize that the most important things to understand are eternal.  This world, and the brokenness in it, are temporary, and therefore not very important in the grand scheme of things.  

2 Corinthians 4:18English Standard Version (ESV)

18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
There is a very apparent brokenness and evil in this world, some caused by personal sin and some caused by the effects of that first sin in the garden.  This world is broken.  For us, right now, we have come face to face with one aspect of this world's brokenness.  We have found out information about our genes that reveal why certain things have happened.  In the midst of this and working through all of the feelings of grief that it brings up, I have to cling to truth.  It grieves me most to know that you will have to work through these things as well.  To know that something in me caused all of this for you.  So many hurdles that I would take away in an instant if given the opportunity.  So many losses that this one thing causes.  It would be much easier to work through this if it just involved me, but it very closely affects two people that I care so much about.  But here is the truth that I cling to.  
1.  God made you perfectly.  
I know that God is in control.  I know that He is sovereign.  I don't claim to have a full understanding of this truth by any means.  But I KNOW this is true.  I BELIEVE this is true.  If I focus on the circumstances in the here and now and forget the big picture, I can get caught in grief and forget this truth.  But God IS in control.  For whatever reason, He has allowed this to happen.  

Psalm 139:13English Standard Version (ESV)

13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.   

2.  God has allowed something to thwart His perfect design           

These issues, this brokenness, and the pain that comes with them was not God's design.  His design is perfect and complete.  Everything good comes from Him.  He allowed it, but I do not think He designed it.  He will work it for His glory.  He will work through it and make it beautiful because of His touch.  When we pray for healing in your body, we pray that it would function the way that God designed it to.  Because His ways are perfect.  Just like in the story of Job, God has allowed something hard and painful to come across our paths.  But He will work it for His glory.  He can turn anything hard into something beautiful.  And He is certainly making you STRONG, BRAVE, AND COURAGEOUS through all of this.  I have seen God work in so many ways in your personality and character.  I have seen great determination and tenacity in your spirit.  I have seen your delight and joy at every accomplishment.  I pray that you come to realize WHO is your ROCK and your STRENGTH.  I pray that you come to fully depend on HIM.  I pray that you grow to lean that you cannot do it on your own.  And I pray that you encourage others around you to look to the ONE WHO IS ABLE through all hardships and all circumstances, no matter what they are, to work GOOD.  

3.  God has chosen to leave us in a broken world

God will work this brokenness to His purposes.  He has a plan for your good and His glory.  But we are in a very broken world.  Everyone deals with this brokenness in one way or another.  We are all affected.  So, my son, you are not alone.  Your brokenness might look different than the person next to you.  But we are all dependent on God to get through much pain and evil in this world.  It affects everyone.  Look around you.  See the desperation of those around you and point them to the ONE AND ONLY SAVIOR.  The AMAZING GOD who has helped you and carried you from day one is the same God who is the only hope for the pain you see around you.  

John 17:15English Standard Version (ESV)

15 I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.[a]

4.  Eternity is what matters.  

This life, and the pain that it brings, will fade away in an instant when we see Jesus face to face.  In that moment only eternal things will matter.  What seems like a mountain today is small in the face of eternity.  So I pray that God works eternal good out of this temporal bad.  I pray that your heart and your character are shaped through these difficult circumstances by the one designer that can make your life bear fruit.  

5.  Our identity is in Christ

Even our genetics are temporal.  They are limited to this earth.  I cannot look to the things of this earth for my identity.  I have to look to Christ.  

2 Corinthians 5:17English Standard Version (ESV)

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.[a] The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

There is a sense of pride and joy that comes from looking at a brand new baby and seeing that they have your nose or their great grandfathers dimple in their chin.  I cannot even begin to describe the pain of realizing that something that was hidden in you has caused pain for that precious little one.  But even this is temporal.  We are more than our bodies.  God wants to make us new in Him.  And all creation groans for God to make things new.  He is JUST and He is GOOD.  And He will right every wrong.  

Revelation 21:4English Standard Version (ESV)

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more,neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”