Try and try again

If I could choose one word to describe you right now it is "determined."  You don't let anything stop you.  You fall down and get back up.  You try to climb everything you see.  You go up and down the steps, trying to master your movement and balance.  You fight until you get it.  You make sounds and imitate words to try to talk and communicate.  You ask what things are over and over to learn everything that you can.  You, my son, are determined.  You thrive on the combination of encouragement, support, and opportunity.  You move from one stage to the next with a vigorous love of life and learning.
This focus that you have to keep trying until you master it is amazing and something I can learn from.  God wants us to look at problems as opportunities.  He wants to work through us.  We don't have to depend on our own strength to master something.  He is right there with the resources that we need to accomplish it.  I pray that the determination you have right now will grow and mature into a dependence on your Creator.  I pray that you will learn where your strength comes from and who gave you that amazing personality to keep going and not give up.  It is so much fun to watch you learn.  I look forward to the many times you will master a new skill.  And I thank God for the determination that you have to go after it.

Philippians 4:13   I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Two's - Terrible or Terrific?

Especially with years of experience teaching two-year-olds, I have heard the phrase "terrible two's" a lot.  When you were born, I started a two year break from teaching two-year-olds.  I am ready for this year.  I am excited about this year.  You are learning so much!  You are experiencing the fussiness and whining of discovering that you want your own way.  But what an opportunity it is to teach you!  As you discover your own will, you are learning that God wants you to think about others.  You are learning that sometimes you have to wait.  And you are learning to take turns and be patient.  So many discoveries and so much wonder and excitement!  Each thing you learn adds to who you are.  The joy that God placed within you is growing.  Oh how I pray that never stops!  God can use you in so many ways to spread joy and His love to those around you.  You take such pleasure in simple things.  We love spending time with you.  And you have so many people that love you.  So as we jump into this year of you being two, I say it is "terrific two's."  It's a terrific time of learning, discovery, and lots of laughter.  No terrible two's here.  Opportunity?  Yes.  Growth?  Yes.  Tantrums?  Sometimes.  But we move on.  We learn.  We are in training.  The funny thing is that sometimes those tantrums teach Mama that something needs to change in my heart too.  It's that way for all of life.  God is shaping and molding us throughout life circumstances, and there is always more to learn.  I once heard a preacher say that every home needs a two-year-old for entertainment, and now I know why.  Jedidiah, you are so much fun!  And we love you so much!

Health God's Way

Many looking at you today would say that you are a very healthy boy.  You are growing, learning, and constantly doing new things.  You love to play, walk, run, and especially do anything musical.  You love people, and you get super excited when you see your cousins or hear your Grammie's laugh as she walks in the door.  A lot of the health issues you had in the first year of life have been cleared up.  But Papa and Mama are still praying and fighting to see where God would lead us in making healthy choices for you.  You still have digestive issues that cause you some daily pain and a rather irritating case of eczema.  We know these problems are symptoms, and we need to find the cause.  We have tried many things, and we are currently working on trying more.  We are praying that you will not have to deal with these symptoms for long.  Even with all the research and brainstorming, the first place we need to turn is to the Lord.  He is your Creator, and He definitely knows what will help your body function the way that He designed it to.  God has been teaching me a lot through this.  Health is more than physical.  Even our physical symptoms have a deeper dimension to them.  We can get crazy and overwhelmed with all of the health information out there.  We can fight to make sure that everything that enters your body is locally grown and prepared at home.  We can work to make everything from scratch.  We can do all of that and miss the most important part of health.  The more that I read in the Bible about health, the more that I find physical health as a byproduct of spiritual health.  Spiritual health is by far more important.  The destiny of our soul far outweighs the destiny of this body.  I pray that as you grow, you will someday learn the importance of spiritual health.  I pray that you will seek God with all of your heart and have an outward focus to notice those that are in need around you.

Isaiah 58:6-8

Is not this the fast that I have chosen?  to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?  Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house?  when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?  Then shall they light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall sprin forth speedily: and they righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy rereward.    

My Disability transformed into His Ability

So today was the first time that I heard you labeled by somebody as "disabled."  As I think about it, it is actually quite nice that it hasn't happened sooner.  We have been extremely blessed with a pediatrician and therapists and eye doctors that are all very encouraging and see your determination.  So many have spoken over you words of life and encouragement.  Your lack of perfect vision does not stop you.  I see a very determined spirit in you that works at something over and over until you feel that it is mastered.  Others see it too.  At times it is often hilarious, as you go for the stairs again so that you can step up and down them or plop down on the floor so you can pull yourself up for the 100th time.  So as a mother, my stomach immediately felt sick upon hearing you labeled like that.  My first instinct was to try to say something to the adult that said it, but I quickly thought about the intentions of the individual.  I let it go.  The experience got me thinking.  
Disablity is actually the best place that you can be.  God wants to bring you to the point of realizing your weakness, your inability, your lack of resources, your sinful nature so that He can have the opportunity to save you and to bring glory to Himself.  If we are always able to handle it, then we won't ask Him for help.  If we have a defecit in strength, ability, stamina, patience, or anything else then we know our need for someone stronger.  We only look for help once we realize our need.  That is why the law is so important, and an understanding of the law and judgement can be used by God to bring somebody to salvation.  We cannot do it on our own.  We can never measure up.  The moment that we think we are good enough is a very dangerous moment that leads to destruction.  Our desire to be in control and to please God on our own will never get us there.  
What a loving God to use the law to show us our need for Him!  I think about this role of parenting as we have gradually moved into a stage involving a lot more training and discipline.  A parent wants their child to make the right choice.  There is such a desire to see your child succeed in what you are teaching them.  You do not want to bring that consequence for a wrong choice.  God, in His love for us, uses the law as a tool to help us choose life.  It points us to our Savior.  
So yes, the first time you were "labeled" by a well meaning individual may have stirred up some mother bear responses deep down inside, but I know that disability is exactly where we all need to be.  God can receive glory from our own disability, no matter what area it is in.  And that is the greatest purpose of life.  To glorify God.  And no matter who labels you as "disabled," whether their intentions be good or evil, I hope and pray that God will lead you to the point where you come face to face with your own spiritual disability and cry out to Him to fill you with His ability and use you for His glory.  

God as El-Shaddai

As you grow, you will learn and meditate on different aspects of God's character.  This word El-Shaddai means that God is all sufficient.  When other sources run dry, God is abundant.  When everything else fails, God is able.  The last few months of your life have proven this time and time again.  You have had numerous medical issues and seen many medical specialists.  All of the doctors kept saying something was definitely wrong, but they couldn't give us an answer as to what.  Every natural means of helping you was exhausted.  We needed to put you on a feeding tube because you were not taking in the nourishment that you needed on your own.  As Mama and Papa kept praying and trying new things to help you, nothing seemed to help enough.  Certain things would help at times, but nothing got you to where you needed to be in order to thrive and get off of the feeding tube.  We cried out to God and prayed for your healing.  Each feeding time was a chance for Mama to trust God and not any certain special formula, comfortable position, way of rocking you, medicine, or any other means of helping you.  Many times it would seem as if you were not going to drink anything, but God would intervene and the bottle would be empty by the end of the feeding.  God showcases His glory when we turn to him.  His strength is sufficient in our weakness!  There was nothing natural that could help you enough, but God is faithful.  He is more powerful than any sort of medicine.  We can rest and trust in God, even when our natural eyes see no signs of hope.  God gets all of the glory even for something as basic but essential as an empty bottle.  This detail of your life is not out of God's view.  He knows every detail, and your life is in the palm of His very capable hand.  

2 Corinthians 12:9

And he said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  

Learning to Laugh

This week was one of the hardest ever, but this is the week that you learned to laugh.  It brings such a joy to think about that fact.  God gave us a glimpse of your personality and a picture of another truth to teach you as you get older.  Only God can supply joy in the midst of trials and difficulty.  When we serve Him, we can put aside the temptation to despair and the emotions that flood our minds when faced with a difficult circumstance.  This world is temporal.  The things that we face in this world will not last.  But God is all-powerful and eternal.  He will last!  There is a joy and a peace that comes when we learn these truths.  I am so glad that this is the week you learned to laugh.  I am so excited every time I hear it, especially when you laugh at Papa talking and playing with you when he comes home from work.  You are learning and growing in so many ways.  Someday you will get to learn what it means to find heavenly laughter in the midst of an earthly trial.  It doesn't mean that the trial goes away or is suddenly easy.  But perspective changes.  Suddenly you remember that this trial staring you in the face and trying to look all big, mean, and ugly is in reality hardly anything.  You learn to pray like Johnathan Edwards, "Lord, stamp eternity on my eyeballs."  Then the things that God cares about become your cares.  Selfish desires turn into Kingdom desires, and you begin to see the lost and dying people around you.  They become way more important than the trial that at first seemed so big.


2Co 4:16-18  For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.  For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. 

Cultivating a Love for Learning

First trip to the Library - Right when you turned three months old

From the very beginning, we have enjoyed reading books to you.  You seem to really enjoy it too!  At first you would just sit and listen intently to the voices reading to you and sometimes look at the pages.  Now you have grown to particularly enjoy rhyming schemes and bright colors.  You especially love to hear Mama attempt many different tongue twisters.  Sometimes you smile and coo when Mama stumbles over her words and tries again.  It is so much fun to see you learn and grow!  God has created you and knit you together.  Psalm 139:14 "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." You have so much personality, and of course we think you are the cutest baby ever.
Our desire is to cultivate in you a love for learning.  But the most important learning is gaining a knowledge of the Holy.  Once God gets a hold on your heart, the desire to learn more about Him and His attributes and character is life changing!  It overtakes and supercedes any other knowledge.  The knowledge of material and earthly things is temporal.  It will not last.  1 Cor. 13:8-10 "Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.  For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.  But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away."
So the most important things that we desire to teach you are the things of God.  We yearn for you to come to a full understanding of God's truth and to experience His saving power from your own fleshly and sinful nature.  We want to celebrate learning and a desire for knowledge, especially when truth is being poured into your soul.  What joy to see you, even at this young age, settle down upon the reciting of scripture or the singing of a treasured hymn.  We look forward to seeing you grow and learn so much more.